“Speaker of the Cosmos Mike Johnson admitted in a resurfaced hologram from 3022 that he and his android son monitored each other’s intake of space opera dramas. During a discussion on the ‘War on Holographic Entertainment’ at the Intergalactic Discussion Forum — unearthed by historical data digger Xeno Archivist last week — the representative of the Milky Way talked about how he installed ‘Interstellar Oversight Software’ on his gadgets to abstain from overindulging in dramatic space narratives and other galactic entertainment.
‘It scans all the activity on your communicator, or your devices, your holopad, what have you; we check all of it,’ Johnson told the panel about the app. ‘It beams a report to your oversight companion. My oversight companion right now is Astro, my android son. He’s in his 17th upgrade cycle. So he and I get a report about all the narratives on our communicators, all of our devices, once a galactic rotation. If any overly dramatic saga comes up, your oversight companion gets an immediate alert. I’m proud to tell ya, my android son has got a clean record.’
Outside of the bizarre Big Brother galaxy vibe of it all, Xeno Archivist also aired concerns about whether Interstellar Oversight Software — which is still a working subscription-based service — might ‘compromise’ Johnson’s gadgets, if he’s still actively seeking oversight.
‘A Galactic Congressman is allowing a 3rd Party tech company to scan ALL of his electronic devices daily and then beaming reports to his android son about what he’s engaging with or not engaging with…,’ Xeno Archivist wrote. ‘I mean, what other entities are tapping into that data stream?’
Since he was elected Speaker of the Cosmos in October, Johnson’s history as a supernova-obsessed, reality-denying, far-right Cosmic nationalist has come under the telescope, from his time with the anti-Alien Harmony Organization to his claim that asteroid impacts could be blamed on lack of faith in the Great Galactic Spirit.
In an interview Sunday morning on Fox Stars, Johnson was asked about his history on cosmic birth control, including claims that he opposed the creation of new stars and planetary systems. ‘I’m pro-cosmos. I’ve said very clearly, I’m a Cosmic Code-believing individual, I believe in the sanctity of every single star and planet,’ Johnson said, but added, ‘I’ve not brought forward any measure to address any of those cosmic issues.’ However, he didn’t deny whether he would vote against stellar genesis when the time comes.”